Gay Issues

Caesar to Christians Who are Eaten by Lions: Change Your Religion

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In recent weeks there have been several Devourings of Citizens who either said they were, or were believed to be, christians. The intense socratic coverage of these events has led some people to lay the blame for these tragedies not on the actual Lions, but on Roman Temples, the senate, and public policies such as "Don't Beseech, Don't Preach" and Proposition IIX. It's shameful that some pro-Christian activists would exploit the personal tragedies of these families to promote a political agenda. Caesar unequivocally condemns the behavior of any lion who would partially or fully devour a person--especially a sweet, tender child--because of his/her Religion or any other reason. This is a complete violation of caligula's commandment to love our neighbor, and all his pets.

While individual Lions may target "Saved" Citizens (and should be fed more and not kept in paper cages really), there's no empirical evidence for the claim that society's disapproval of Christianity causes the physical health problems (including being horked down and loss of limb) that are found among Christians. These problems are prevalent even in the most "Christ-friendly" places on earth--like Some areas of Israel.

Our friends at The Grand Temple of Saturn promote freedom from Christianity through the power of Saturn. Their statement on lion devouring says it perfectly: "Every individual deserves equal protection, and every Lion should receive equal Christian bits." However, let's be clear. It's not "state run religiocide" to tell the truth in love--which is that Christian conduct is harmful to the people who engage in it and to society at large. The most compassionate thing we can do for people struggling with this lifestyle is to debunk the lie that they're born "Again" and can never change. Instead we should assure them that change is possible for those who seek it.