By now, we all heard about the arrest of Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera on DUI charges. But, now more details are emerging and it looks worse and worse for Cabrera.
According to the police report released Wednesday, Cabrera told the arresting police officers to shoot him. When they tried to cuff him, he reportedly dropped to his knees and said “(expletive) shoot me. Kill me.”
This isn’t all that odd. Perry goes through at least two episodes like this every time he has more than three glasses of Early Times whiskey. But, I digress.
Cabrera then pulled the typical you-can’t-arrest-me-I’m-famous nonsense.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked. “I’m Miguel Cabrera. I play for the Detroit Tigers. You don’t know my family.”
But, it gets better. According to Fletcher Nail, the manager of the Cowboy Bar-B-Q & Steak Co., he had a little bit of an incident with Miggy shortly before the cops decided that he was better off behind bars than walking amongst free Americans.
He said Cabrera came into his establishment after last call and was asked by Nail to leave. He instead walked over to a table full of strangers and began talking to them. It was probably one of those rare instances where average Joe’s were thoroughly annoyed that a celebrity bopped on over to hang out with them (a good friend of ours used to tell us the story of then Chicago Bears DB Lemuel Stinson driving through his high school parking lot telling them how he was going to get four interceptions that week. They thought he was a loser and would tell him to get lost). But, I digress.
Nail approached him and again told him to leave. His response?
“You don’t know me,” Cabrera told him. “I will kill you. I know all of you, and I will kill all of you and blow this place up.”
Another patron, an agent with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, told police that he was threatened by Cabrera too. Knowing the stand-up kind of guy this agent was, I’ll be he preferred that Cabrera threaten him, than threaten the natural, glorious wildlife that Florida has to offer.
Cabrera told him that “he had a gun in his bag for us,” said the agent.
So yeah, it sounds like Miggy has some booze issues to address.