Brett Favre: The Most Selfish Player in NFL History

| by

Are there really any Brett Favre fans left in America? Is there anybody who's not homeless still walking around with a Packers or Vikings No. 4 jersey? 

Any kid who still has a poster of the guy hanging in his room? I pray not.

This guy is a piece of work. And by "piece of work" I mean words that made George Carlin famous. If it's not sending unwanted penis pictures to unsuspecting women, it's holding team(s) hostage year after year with an annual "Favre Retirement Watch" during training camp.

Well, now it's not only training camp. We're getting the full Favre treatment in mid-season. Lucky us, a special edition! Favre says he needs to do some deep soul-searching and decide if he wants to keep playing for his lousy 3-7 club. Of course he does. It's been a couple of weeks since Favre enjoyed the media spotlight. Everybody turn their attention back to Brett and hang on his every word.

I don't care if he doesn't get hurt or throws a lot of touchdowns, this is not somebody we should admire.

There have been a lot of bad guys who have played professional sports. But I'm not sure there's ever been a more selfish athlete than Favre. It's always about him and his decisions, always about his plans and his future, always about whether he'll grace us with his presence.

How bad do you want to say to this guy: Dude, you signed a contract. You get to play a kids' game as your career. You have millions of dollars. Stop whining, play hard and finish the season like a goddamn man. 

But that's not Brett Favre. That's not what he does when his team needs leadership. Figures. This is what selfish people do. They look out for themselves and screw everyone else in the process. When it's all well and good, Favre does his annoying finger-pointing sprint down the sidelines into the end zone. Now that the Vikings are out of the playoffs and looking like purple punks? Favre is doing his finger-pointing (as in, your fault not mine) run back to his swamp (or farm or shack) in Mississippi.

The VIkings just fired coach Brad Childress, but all anybody wants to talk about is whether Favre is coming back or calling it quits.

I wish people would give up on this guy. I wish they'd stop wearing his jerseys and tear down his posters from every bedroom in America. I wish he'd go away. But he won't go away. He never does.

You might ask: If you can't stand the guy, why are you wasting time by writing this column? It's a good question -- and one I weighed before sitting down to hammer this out.

But the fact is, Favre is a great symbol for other people in our lives. He's the prodigal son, plain and simple. No matter what he does, no matter how much he disappoints or let's you down -- we welcome him back with open arms.

He's the friend who's awesome to hang out with -- the life of the party -- when he shows up. The other times, he forgets to call, shows up late, lies, leaves you hanging. But you keep going back for the magic.

Favre is doing what he does best. The Vikings are irrelevant this year, and Favre can't stand it. He's out of the spotlight so what does he do? 

He tells the media that he's reevaluating the season. The Internet and sports talk radio shows crackle with gossip and delight.

Brett Favre is the talk of the town. Again.