MLB

MLB: Mariners Bradley Threw Glass at Wife

| by Off The Record

We sincerely apologize to our reader(s) for not passing along this information sooner. It’s our job to get you this kind of pertinent information in a timely fashion so that you can just go about your day already.

Seattle Mariner Milton Bradley is having some marital issues, but it’s not as bad as others have reported. We saw a report on Rotoworld that said that, during New Year’s Eve, Bradley threw a glass coffee table at his wife. That would have been horrific and made him an awful person. But, it didn’t happen.

Actually, Bradley grabbed a glass off of the coffee table and threw it at his wife’s head. See? That’s not nearly as bad. And, it was during an argument, so one could certainly empathize.

“Milton cursed and yelled at me for approximately five minutes and then he grabbed a glass from off the coffee table and threw it directly at my head from across the room,” his wife Monique said in a complaint for a restraining order (she’s seen him play baseball before and probably thought there was no way he’d be able to hit her in the head with the glass).

“The glass shattered on my head and I started to bleed,” she said, clearly bellyaching. “As soon as Milton saw me bleeding, he started crying and begging me to forgive him. He stated that he lost it and that he would kill himself if I left him. I did not know what to do.”

Monique is filing for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. She could probably just tell the courts that she married Milton Bradley and they’d just understand and grant her the separation.