Boys Need to Kill Things; Let Them
In addition to the bogus definition of self-esteem, Boomers also instilled the notion that there are no real gender differences. For a balanced, accurate study of this issue, I recommend Taking Sex Differences Seriously, by Steven Rhoads. (Great guy, great book -- though this one's not for casual readers. It's loaded with facts and isn't what I'd call an easy read.) Rhoads cuts through all the crap feminists have churned out and makes a powerful case for letting boys be boys and girls be girls.
Which is why, when my son wants to turn a telephone into a gun, I let him. When he points it at me, I don't tell him never to do such a thing; instead I play dead. Do I think it's terrible to tell a boy not to point a gun at someone? No. But doing so isn't teaching him not to kill, if that's your goal. The chance of his turning into a killer because his parents didn't redirect his actions when he was young are just about nill. Boys love the idea of war. In fact just yesterday when I was instructing my son and his friend to clean up their mess, I asked them why these little balls were all over the place. To which they replied, "We were pretending they were bombs."
So what if your girl doesn't like dresses and your boy prefers piano to sports? Fine. What if one gets more estrogen or testosterone and acts more like the opposite sex (or is possibly even gay)? Fine. It's not that none of this can't happen; it's that it's rare. (Did you know that only around 3% of the country's population is gay? Three percent!) In other words, rather than cater to the very small group of boys and girls who don't act like typical boys and girls, why not embrace the majority? It is possible to cater to the masses without making the minority group feel marginalized. The days of fathers telling their boys to "quit acting like pansies and pick up a gun" are over. At least in the urban areas it is. (Not much we can do about truly backward folk anyway.)
But again, in typical American fashion, we go overboard. In our attempt to be inclusive, we marginalize the majority instead -- by telling boys it's bad or wrong to shoot a gun and telling girls they should love sports. All just so the few who are different don't feel bad. But then we end up with even more people feeling bad for doing what comes naturally.
If we truly want to be inclusive, we need to acknowledge the natural state of things while at the same time assuring those who aren't part of the masses that they're special for being different. Maybe we tell them God has a special plan for them. Maybe we tell them they're going to be emotionally superior to the masses for seeing the world in a unique light. Maybe we'll come up with some other explanation. But to attempt to eradicate nature is just plain wrong.
Mother Nature is stronger than we are.
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I agree with the basic premise of this article. I hate that most institutions of education in America do their best to teach all children to be perfect little girls, regardless of gender. Boys are different than girls, and that's okay. While quality of education should never be different, style should.
Now for where we disagree. Guns kill people. Teach them gun safety early, and let them shoot fairly early in life. It is not acceptable to point a firearm at something you do not intend to shoot, even if it is just a phone. It's okay to teach them that there are things you intend to shoot, and that it is accepable to shoot that, but letting your child shoot you with a phone is begging for trouble. Also, being homosexual does not necessarily mean acting like the opposite gender. That trend is largely a product of American homophobic culture that expects gays to do so. Not that there's anything wrong with boys persuing "feminine" pastimes, that's not what I'm saying, nor would it make the boy's learning process similar to a girl. A boy who likes piano, ballet, and musical theatre, and is homosexual, will still probably think and behave like a boy. A girl who likes wrestling, football , and hunting , and is lesbian, will also still think like a girl, and learn differently than boys.
Tell them god has a special plan for them? Mother Nature is stronger than we are?
I know a boy that wants to kill something allright...
But never let him point it at a person. Desensitizing a young child to pointing an object such as a gun or a pretend "gun" at a human is asking for an accident to happen. And if you play dead when he does this he will associate the "gun" with power over you. He can just shut you out with a simple "bang." NOT SMART.
I agree with the point about the genders being unique and that boys need to be boys and girls, well point taken.I also agree that as a society we are all trying to be nice about, well you know,the gay thing. If they love each other just let them get married and don't cause a fuss. Well some of us still believe "words" have meaning and that changing the meaning just to get along is like saying don't stand up for our country just because they don't like it. Hell lets stop calling Russia a Communnist country, lets call them fellow country men, now dosen't that make you feel better, I could go on but I think I just saw a deer go by my privy so i'll be picking up my gun and killing some venison, oh I'm sorry I am going to procure some wild game meat for the family. Boys will be Boys.
the_car_man
I'd certainly say it is absolutely not "rare" for a boy to prefer piano to sports or a girl to dislike dresses. Rare is not the proper word. That kind of behavior is probably significantly more common than the prevalence of homosexuality (which is an irrelevant comparison anyway).
There are many, many girls and women who enjoy sports. In fact, women nowadays are much more active, independent and prosperous because of the change in our society which originally oppressed women. It is this original oppression that actually molded the "normal female behavior" which you outline above. The fact that women are largely less oppressed today lends credit to the fact that expected female patterns are changing.
There are many, many boys and men who enjoy musical aspirations. Does that take away from society at all because they do not care to play sports or be in the military ? I don't think so.
This opinion piece seemed almost way too generalized to be making any sort of useful claim.