“Kick-Ass” Could Have Been Shortened to "Ass"

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Genres: Action/Adventure, Adaptation and Teen
Running Time: 1 hr. 57 min.
Release Date: April 16th, 2010 (wide)
MPAA Rating: R for strong brutal violence throughout, pervasive language, sexual content, nudity and some drug use - some involving children.
Distributors: Lionsgate
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn

JJ Rating: B

Watch It Again: Yes.
Own It: No.
Recommend it to: People that like seeing people get beat up, not easily offended and don’t see a lot of movies.

Dave (Aaron Johnson) asks the question: why hasn’t anyone tried to be a superhero? Aside from not having powers, what stops someone from dressing up and saving people? So he creates an alter ego, Kick-Ass, and ends up being an internet celebrity. He runs into other heroes, Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage), Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz) and Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). They all get in over their heads when they have to go against a big mob boss that apparently has deep pockets for the amount of men he could afford to lose. Kick-Ass.

First off, Kick-Ass reminds me of a poor man’s Kill Bill (both), and reminds me of a lowbrow (as if that’s remotely possible) Superbad. I really like those three movies, but to see them mashed-up under an assumed name didn’t do it for me.

Dave was a great character in theory. He’s not a jock and he’s not a geek. He’s just an average guy. He gets off to any female that has their boobs a-flashin’. He has friends but he’s not the funny one. He doesn’t have a girlfriend. He’s invisible to girls. He’s just there. Masturbation jokes can only be pulled off (haha) so many times and actually be funny instead of exhausting and a let down. You've seen one, you’ve seen them all. The problem with Dave was, he’s just a weak character. He wasn’t good at anything. Acting wise, I think Johnson did a good job, but for the most part, the acting in Kick-Ass wasn’t that good. I don’t know who to blame: the director or the lackluster-no-great-lines-to-remember script?

The saving grace in all of this was Hit Girl. Funny, since she’s one of the reasons many people have a problem with the film’s morality. Chloe Grace Moretz is the sister from (500) Days of Summer. She gave advice that centered on her brother not being a kitty about his life. She certainly doesn’t lose that shock charm in Kick-Ass. Hit Girl is the kick in Kick-Ass, while everyone else is the ass. She’s the mouthy little girl that says things that’ll either make you laugh or gasp at how incorporate she is. Don’t even get me started on her awesome action scenes. If it were not for her great acting, character and weirdly entertaining fight scenes, this film wouldn’t have kicked anything but the box office bucket. Right now it’s just tapping on the door.

Kick-Ass’s script didn’t go anywhere memorable. It lacked bite, shock or anything that would beg awesomeness. I felt like I was watching amateur film night and I was not impressed. There was a lot of not caring oozing from every corner of the screen.

One reviewer (a quote from one of the trailers for Kick-Ass) suggested that Iron Man move over. No. Iron Man 2 will not only decimate Kick-Ass at the box office, it’ll make it utterly forgettable…even though it does a pretty good job of that via its molasses script and characters that just can’t muster up enough fight to warrant the film’s name.

P.S. I don’t hate Kick-Ass, I’m just really, really, really, really disappointed.