You have probably heard the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Do you agree with it? Perhaps you were spanked as a kid. Was it appropriate? Some people see spanking as an outdated method of punishment or even child abuse, while others view a swat on the bottom as a parent's prerogative. Where do we draw the line when it comes to disciplining our children?
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Abusing this feature is also a violation of Civility 101.
Explanation:
Most compelling of all reasons not to spank are the following (which can be verified by people who were actually spanked themselves by doing a little internet research):
Even without sexual motives on the part of the punisher, spanking can interfere with a child’s normal sexual and psychological development. Because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sensations of sexual pleasure. This can happen even in very young children , and even in spite of great, clearly upsetting pain.
Tom Johnson Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
“Advocates of corporal punishment in schools should examine very carefully the weight of evidence now available and, particularly in light of the pornographic component, consider whether they can justify the continuation of a system with such a capacity for exciting unhealthy interest.”
British Psychological Society, “Report on Corporal Punishment in Schools” (1980)
“But what you would not so readily believe upon my affirmation, was that there are persons who are stimulated to venery by strokes of rods, and worked up into a flame of lust by blows... A strange instance what a power the force of education has in grafting inveterate ill habits on our morals...”
Johann Heinrich Meibom, physician, 1629
Unpleasant as this information is, we do our children a great disservice when we fail to acknowledge its truth.
Had we not turned a blind eye to the unpleasant phenomena of clergy abuse of children 20-30 years ago, many children would have been spared its devastating consequences. Peace.
- PDeverit
May 5, 2009 5:39PM
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Spanking is Hitting, Plain and Simple!
- From Center for Effective Discipline
By Center for Effective Discipline
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So Rosemond is not a psychologist!
It's true that John Rosemond has only a master's degree. Therefore he shouldn't be called "Dr" or honored with the title PhD. He also shouldn't call himself "family psychologist" because you have to have a PhD to be considered a psychologist. John Rosemond simply isn't on the same educational or professional level as those he chooses to disagree with. He's got a 37 year old master's degree (from a time when very little was known about psychology) and this degree is from a lesser university. And that's it.
It's time for everyone to realize that John Rosemond is no expert. It must be very embarrassing to real psychologists that Rosemond claims he is one!
- SojournerTruth
August 8, 2008 5:47PM
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Side: No
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Resilence of children no excuse to hurt them
I've seen abused children who were raped, beaten, and neglected turn to a parent and open up their arms with love and hopes of getting affection. They still want to be loved. The scars of abuse may fade away and some will go on to be very stable and happy people. What that proves is not that abuse is right. It proves that some people are quite resilient. Similarly a spanked child not hating their parents isn't proof that spanking was justified, necessary or appropriate. The loving and resilient nature of some children isn't an excuse to use corporal punishment. The reality is that it is not necessary to make children suffer to raise them to be loving, healthy, happy people - in fact it is easier to do so with kindness.
- barbz September 16, 2008 1:44PM
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This isn't a matter of child abuse
I was spanked as a child and in the right context children can learn respect through it. If you need to spank daily however you need to find a new form of discipline cause its not working.
The average parent doesn't want to hurt their children, they want to teach them. If you're into spanking to hurt your children, thats child abuse. In my memory I only remembered actually getting spanked twice but it was more an emotional memory than a physical one. At most 3 slaps on the butt and I learned my lesson.
Parents need to find what works for them and their children. For example, I babysit an autistic boy. He doesn't respond to much except being removed from the situation. Scream at the top of your lungs all you want, he won't bat an eye. Hold his hands behind his back for a few seconds and he freaks out. Everything needs to be physical or it doesn't register.
- EAnthes
December 9, 2008 3:58PM
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Side: Yes
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