Should You Let Your Child Cry It Out?

Should You Let Your Child Cry It Out?

It's late at night. You've barely slept in days and your baby is crying again. You want to run next door to quiet and comfort him, but you're worried he'll never learn to sleep alone if you always answer the cries. It's a dilemma every parents faces, and one of the toughest. What should a new parent do when a child won't sleep soundly?

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  • “Absolutely Not!”
  • “Objection”
Nicole Johnson

Blanket Statements Don't Solve Sleep Problems

Nicole Johnson

Baby Sleep Consultant

This can be true in some cases, but to make a blanket statement for all situations does not help parents who feel lost and alone when no-cry methods do not work for them. Leaving a 2-week old to cry all night because a parent does not want to get up to feed at night is one thing, but letting a 10-month old cry in protest because he doesn't want to end the day and go to bed is quite another. "Cry it out" means something different to all parents. What one parent might call "fussing" for 10 minutes another would call full-blown cry-it-out.

A baby's temperament and personality play a HUGE part in how a parent might approach any particular sleep problem, not to mention the parent's personality. One parent may be able to replace a pacifier 10 times per night while another just can't without slipping into depression. Sleep deprivation is hard on the whole family and sometimes avoiding a little crying is worse than the sleep deprivation. Parents need to figure out the best plan of action for their particular family and the vast majority of parents do not choose cry-it-out as a first method, but rather one of the last. No one wants to do it, but it doesn't mean it can't be an effective method, depending on the situation and the child.

Also, it is true that cry-it-out is not a cure-all and yes, you may need to revisit it, but similar to the discipline method of time-out, which we all know takes a lot of time and consistency, babies need structure, routine and consistency to make anything work. Illnesses might set you back, but it doesn't mean you go back to how things used to be, which weren't working in the first place. When time-out doesn't work the first time (which is often the case), you don't give up on it, you keep working at it. This is not to say that cry-it-out is a disciplinary method, but it can be a form of limit setting and I think we can all agree children thrive on limits.

You are right that parents looking for a quick fix will be sorely disappointed, but that simply means parents need to adjust their expectations.

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  • Nicole Johnson
    Baby Sleep Consultant, Nicole Johnson, is the Founder of Pick Nick's Brain, a website dedicated to helping families with babies and toddlers get more sleep.... More

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