Is Spanking an Acceptable Form of Discipline?

Is Spanking an Acceptable Form of Discipline?

You have probably heard the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Do you agree with it? Perhaps you were spanked as a kid. Was it appropriate? Some people see spanking as an outdated method of punishment or even child abuse, while others view a swat on the bottom as a parent's prerogative. Where do we draw the line when it comes to disciplining our children?

Next question in Society

You are seeing 16 Comments. See all 400 Comments on this Question.
Regarding Expert Debate
Is Spanking an Acceptable Form of Discipline?
  • Jimmy Dunne
    Spanking is harmful to children

    Parents are role models for childrens behavior. When we cuss, children learn to curse, when we hit, slap or spank, children learn to hit. Spanking is a violent act. Spanking with belts, paddles or extension cords is clearly child abuse.
    It is far better to be a good role model and to talk firmly to your children about what behavior is expected. Use time-outs, denial of TV, outside activities, etc. to make your point.
    See www.nospankingzone.org People Opposed to Paddling Students, Houston

    - Jimmy DunneUS July 25, 2008 8:33AM

    Reply to this Recommend (7) Icon flag Side: No

    Thank You for your Comment

    We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

    • blah
      thats whats wrong with kids today

      a good spanking on the rump is what most kids need. thats why they have no respect for anybody these days.when most of us adults remember when we were young and got out of control we would be turned over on our parents lap and our rump beat into jelly .and we had respect .but over the years people started going to far with it and started being to violent and thats when the line was drawn.but was drawn in a wrong way.now if you look at a kid wrong you will get locked up and thats not right that just gave the kids the run of the roost.and thats whats wrong with them today (giving kids control)i think if a kid gets out of control a parent should turn them over on their lap and give them a old fashion spanking on the rump.and if they go to far with it .send them to prison for a while.not make other parents cut out spankings so their kids can get out of control.

      - blahUS December 11, 2008 7:38PM

      Reply to this Recommend (1) Icon flag Side: Yes

      Thank You for your Comment

      We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

      • Jimmy Dunne
        Spanking does NOT bring respect

        Spanking children does not bring respect for the parent, it brings anger, hatred and fear. It shows that the parent is out of control and is resorting to hitting a small defenseless child. People are not for hitting and children are people too. Discipline should be for teaching, not for punishment. Let the child know what you approve and disapprove of and they will want your approval.

        Jimmy Dunne, People Opposed to Paddling Students, Houston 281.584.9707 see www.nospankingzone.org

        - Jimmy DunneUS December 12, 2008 8:20AM

        Reply to this Recommend (2) Icon flag Side: No

        Thank You for your Comment

        We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

        • bellajames
          I was spanked..and I respect my parents.

          I was spanked until I turned 15 years old. If I did something wrong, I knew that I was going to get a spanking for it and most of the time that was the only reason I refrained. All children are different. Some children benefit from spanking, and others don't. My sister was spanked as a child, and it did her no good, because she was always stubborn and wasn't afraid of the pain. So therefore, my parents had other ways of punishing her. But for me, it worked. I did respect my parents for it, because they were always very clear about what they expected from me, and I knew what would happen if I did something wrong. Therefore, I still respected them for it. I may not have liked it when I was younger, but I did not hate my parents for it. Like I said, it may not work for certain children, but time-outs don't work for certain children either. In time-out, most creative children would entertain themselves, even if there was absolutely nothing in the room that was entertaining. The responsibility falls on individual parents. It is NOT abuse, if you do not hurt the child to the point of bruises or scarring.

          - bellajamesUS April 13, 2009 3:00PM

          Reply to this Recommend (1) Icon flag Side: Yes

          Thank You for your Comment

          We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

        • Russell Fine
          Spanking isn't meant to bring respect

          Not every action a parent takes is meant to engeander respect. I do believe that spanking a child out of anger and frustration is abuse, not discipline .

          - Russell FineUS May 23, 2009 11:18AM

          Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Uncommitted

          Thank You for your Comment

          We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

          • muffmonster36
            Spanking does NOT bring respect

            SEE you got it figured out it is all in how you deliver that spanking that matter's I think I got plenty growing and my son as well.You can't act like a enraged idiot while dealing with kids but you put best I think.

            - muffmonster36US September 2, 2009 11:36AM

            Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

            Thank You for your Comment

            We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

          • countryboy
            Out of love

            Yes a parent should not ever spank out of anger or frustration.The problem today is the two parent are out to work and there is no discipline in the homes
            My wife stayed at home and I went to work outside of the home.When I got home that was the time the children got there spankings after a talken to.

            - countryboyUS September 3, 2009 2:23PM

            Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

            Thank You for your Comment

            We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

          • Aria
            Not every spanking is given out of anger

            My dad HATED having to spank me. But when all other punishments failed and I was still being a brat about something, what was he to do? Just let me be a brat? He hated spanking more than anything in the world, and always apologized, but let me know WHY he did it. I was only spanked a handful of times, but they were effective. I learned that my actions hurt not only me, but my parents. It hurt my dad emotionally when everything else failed. He hated having to hurt me. Knowing it hurt him was worse to me than the spanking. I knew he loved me, or else he'd just be flailing away out of anger.

            I respect very much that he did what he had to do to keep me from being one of those spoiled roten entitled brats you see today.

            - Aria February 4, 2010 1:42PM

            Reply to this Recommend (1) Icon flag Side: Yes

            Thank You for your Comment

            We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

        • muffmonster36
          Spanking does NOT bring respect

          I think your dead wrong evryone in my family as far as I can remeber has gotten whippings and we are all good folk's never shot a school up or co- workers and we are hard working and god fearing people.It is the lack of punishment that is the problem with kids now aday's so look's to me like your wrong!!!

          - muffmonster36US September 2, 2009 11:31AM

          Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

          Thank You for your Comment

          We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

        • Aria
          Funny...I don't hate my parents.

          I appreciate them for spanking me when I got out of hand and other punishments weren't working. By the time my sibling came around, they started thinking spanking was bad. Guess who the brat was who still expects everyone to pay for everything, and who the one who went on to be a business-owner who is respectful. Guess which one stopped talking to our parents when they started saying No to expensive objects, and who is the one who was close to our parents until they died.

          Taking away a beloved toy can bring anger, hatred, even fear, just as well. Tell me what child is happy to have her favorite doll taken away.

          - Aria February 4, 2010 1:38PM

          Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

          Thank You for your Comment

          We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

      • PDeverit
        Model Parents "Beat Child's Rump To Jelly"

        Hang on everyone,

        -forget people with model children who have never raised a hand to them

        -forget those who turn around the behavoir of troubled youth without violence

        -forget those who have spent years and years studying family life

        -and move over Dr. Phil and Supernanny,



        We've got some winning advice right here!

        - PDeveritUS May 6, 2009 10:06PM

        Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: No

        Thank You for your Comment

        We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

    • TheCatholicHeretic
      Define Harmful...

      Mr. Dunne,

      I am one of seven children the youngest of which is 43 years old. We were all spanked. Examples include (but are not limited to) the following: hands, hot-wheel tracks, piece of oak baseboard, switches and belts.

      Your argument indicates there was long term harm done to us but I don't see it. We have the following accomplishments between us, 1 MBA, 4 Bachelor of Science degrees, 6 Associate Degrees, 7 High School diplomas. There are also 22 children in the 6 marriages and 3 of us have been married over 25 years. None of us have been in prison or convicted of a felony. There is no child abuse in any of the families and there are only 2 children of the 22 that have serious issues. Those children were adopted from the County from a mother who used cocaine and alcohol during the pregnancy (Look up Fetal Alcohol Syndrome).

      Specifically what harm is done? From my experience spanking works for a time, and properly applied does not harm the child but actually gives them boundaries. Should spanking be used with all children. Absolutely not. Each child is different and some things that work on one do not work on others. Spanking is a last resort punishment that should not be used lightly. Being consistent is what counts. There is also a point where spanking becomes insulting to the child and at that point it loses it's effectiveness. Every child is different and the age where spanking stops is extremely variable.

      And don't give me the argument that there are always exceptions. Your statements do not support that.

      - TheCatholicHereticUS June 16, 2009 3:50PM

      Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

      Thank You for your Comment

      We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

    • Dylandts
      Yes

      It most definitely helped me as a child. Time-outs, denial of TV etc. etc. did nothing to change my ways. But a good spanking (with or without belt) told me exactly how to behave. Now their is a difference between spanking and slapping, just as there is a difference between spanking and beating. A spanking is good and effective while a beating or slapping is obviously child abuse.

      - DylandtsUS August 13, 2009 8:33PM

      Reply to this Recommend (1) Icon flag Side: Yes

      Thank You for your Comment

      We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

      • muffmonster36
        Yes

        OOORAH....Leave it to a fellow Marine to say it best....EVERYONE should read this because you said it best......

        - muffmonster36US September 2, 2009 11:40AM

        Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

        Thank You for your Comment

        We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

      • countryboy
        Yes it is

        A Spanking set me straght a time or two.Not spanking and letting your child go wild is more like child abuse.

        - countryboyUS September 3, 2009 2:07PM

        Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

        Thank You for your Comment

        We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.

    • muffmonster36
      Is Spanking an Acceptable Form of Discipline?

      I thinlk your wrong!!!!!I got plenty of whoopin's with belt's my son did and my uncle's 9 of them and my dad did and a handful of cousin's NONE of my family are law breaker's we all work hard do right for the most part and myself and several other's are or were in the Marines(not perfect but good people)AND WE NEVER SHOT A SCHOOL UP OR CO WORKER"S and we credit our WHOOPIN"S for our being good people and nobody in my family has ever been arrested for child abuse!!!!

      - muffmonster36US September 2, 2009 11:25AM

      Reply to this Recommend (0) Icon flag Side: Yes

      Thank You for your Comment

      We review all comments before they're posted. For more on our comment policy, please see our FAQ.