ADVICE: How to Teach Your Kids About Sex

By Suzanne Venker , Author - June 18, 2009

Comments(4) | (0)
Sexed
If you're a parent, you know you're going to have to teach your kids about sex eventually -- if you haven't already. The problem parents face is that the cultural messages are in direct conflict with most parents' values. True, not all parents teach their children the same values. But how many parents do you know who actually want, or encourage, their children to have sex? Not many. Research shows that most parents do not want their children to engage in sexual activity. The question isn't ... Read the Full Article
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ADVICE: How to Teach Your Kids About Sex
  • quantummechanik
    Classy.

    Yeah, if your goal is to prevent your kid from having sex, "self-respect", or "If you have premarital sex, you really shouldn't have any self-respect" might work. It's shaming behavior.

    This article is sexist, essentialist, and somewhat creepy. Women who engage in sexual activity should feel good about it, should enjoy it. They shouldn't be ashamed of it, which is what you're saying they should.

    "The more she holds out, the more respect she will have for herself"
    All class.

    - quantummechanikUS June 18, 2009 2:12PM

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    • Suzanne Venker
      Self-Respect and Shame are Two Different Concepts

      1) Nowhere in my article did I use the word shame, or even allude to it. You're equating antiquated notions about sexual behavior with good old-fashioned common sense.

      2) Notice you wrote "women who engage in sexual activity should feel good about it, should enjoy it." This wasn't an article about women. It was an article about young girls.

      - Suzanne Venker June 19, 2009 7:46AM

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      • quantummechanik
        Two different, opposing concepts

        What would you call telling a young girl"If you have sex, boys won't respect you" if not shaming?

        How is that sensible? Indeed, how is that a positive message unless you follow it directly with "and if they do, that's really their problem." The idea that women should be nonsexual while men should be sexual is an antiquated notion, and that notion is what should be challenged, not enforced on the small-scale through parenting tactics that reinforce that behavior.

        What, in your view, is the positive aspect of keeping contraception out of a child's sex education ? What GOOD comes of not giving them this information, these lessons?

        Young girls become women, at an alarmingly high speed. These values stay with them into adulthood. Sexual desire is not something you can take away without surgery or hormone supressants. Acting as if they don't exist is dangerous, especially when you plant the idea that acting on those desires will make people like you less, and make you like yourself less.

        What would constitute real self-esteem building in regards to sexual education ? Sitting down with your son or daughter and saying "Sex is, in fact, a big deal. Here's how to do it safely. You're smart enough and we love and trust you enough to know that you'll make the right decision for your body, because that's what you're going to have to do for the rest of your life. Don't let anyone else tell you how you should feel."

        - quantummechanikUS June 19, 2009 10:52AM

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      • WayOfTheDodo
        Chirp chirp

        It looks like Venker failed to address quantummechanik's arguments... She didn't even bother to reply.

        - WayOfTheDodo July 11, 2009 2:06AM

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