With Older Kids, Communication is Key

Having established ‘positive discipline’ with your toddler, by praising good behaviour and ignoring bad, when they start school (or even embark on their teenage rebellion) the same rules apply. The difference with older kids is that you can talk things through with them, which is much easier. Discussion and negotiation are really important – tell them clearly what you want them to do (not want you don’t) and what the sanctions are if rules are broken.

Try having house rules, which apply to everyone living in that house. Sit your whole family down and agree on house rules such as, ‘In this house we don’t hit each other,’ or ‘We don’t swear.’ Kids love helping come up with the rules, they find it empowering and feel that it’s fair, which is incredibly important to children. You’ll be amazed how much teenagers embrace this too, especially if you ask for their help in finding a solution. The key thing here is that the rules apply to everyone, kids and adults alike, and they can sanction you (no wine or TV for a week, for example) as much as you can sanction them.

The most important thing when disciplining children of any age is to keep calm, be fair and consistent. Screaming at kids does no-one any good, nor does being wildly strict one day and changing your mind the next. Consistent rules and boundaries makes kids feel safe, secure and loved. And those calm, happy kids will grow up to be calm, happy adults.