We are Not Cavemen Anymore
One argument against cry-it-out is often that it’s unnatural and a long time ago in cave days, our babies would be eaten by wolves if we allowed them to cry. I cannot argue with that, but times have changed and so will parenting methods. We also used to have an “it takes a village” mentality and would have many family members at our disposal to help care for our babies. If mom needed a nap, she would get a nap. Nowadays we are working moms or moms without the family structure that allows this. It is simply unrealistic to believe that all parents will be able to continually awaken numerous times per night for months on-end simply to avoid a few potential tears, depending on the severity of the child’s sleep problems. Some moms need to be alert and energetic for other children and some moms slip into depression from sleep deprivation and others will not be able to function at work with too little sleep.
There are plenty of unique situations as to why it might be in the best interest of the family to use the cry-it-out method, but it won’t be necessary or the best method for everyone. Those with “easier” babies probably would not ever understand why someone might use the method, but every parent has their own situation and breaking point and every baby reacts differently to being sleep deprived himself (some will be a little fussy and some will be a downright terror), which might influence a direction a parent will take. No parent plans to do cry-it-out and yes, it is difficult, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be an effective method for your family.
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Saying that "times have changed" suggests you know absolutely nothing about the human brain.
By all means have your opinion or your philosophy - everyone is entitled to their own. However, how you can call yourself a "Sleep Expert: without obviously having any knowledge of the human brain is Beyond Belief. The neurological fact is that babies BRAINS are exactly the same design as they were in what you refer to as "cave days". They don't know they have been born in the 21st Centrury.
FACT: Prolonged, ignored crying for help results in the release of stress hormones. When this occurs regularly, or over a prolonged period (i.e. more than a few minutes) the hormones become toxic. this "toxicity" causes the brain to form connections which make the baby more sensitive and reacive to stress. End result: a more anxious, withdrawn or fearful child. If you have any doubt about the effects of non-responsiveness from a parent look at this: See the effects of non-responsiveness on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0 (mind you, any person who calls themselves an "expert" in babies, would already know about this procedure.)
FACT: The baby's relationships with its parents will shape and colour the way they see the world and the people in it for the rest of their lives. It's what psychologists call the "internal working model". Deliberately leaving a baby alone to "cry it out" teaches a baby that people are untrustworthy, cannot be reilied on, and that they are unimportant.
OPINION: I often wonder if there is a link between the country that developed the idea of of "crying it out" and the lucrative industry of "Baby Sleep Experts" such as yourself, and the fact that the same country has amongst the highest rates of adult selfishness, depression, suicide, violence and anxiety in the world. A study from Harvard University actually wondered the same thing, and found the answer was a resounding "Yes!!!"
FACT: Most mothers and fathers have an instinctual pull to respond to their child's cries for help. This is why a constantly crying child is so tortuous. How CRUEL of you to suggest to a parent that they should ignore this pull and that their feelings of wanting to help their baby are somehow "wrong".
FACT: Babies have died from being left alone to cry - they become so stressed that many babies will vomit - there are many cases where babies have choked on their vomit in this way.
FACT: No baby has ever died from being responded to with love, cuddles and sensivity.
FACT: Many parents are absolutely desperate for help with sleep and there are many unscrupulous people who take advantage and make a profit from this, without having any idea about baby's brains. Luckily, there are many, many, many safe, effective ways to help a baby sleep that do not involve "crying it out" - the Vimala McClure infant massage program (available in books and classes worldwide), breastfeeding to sleep, co-sleeping, room-sharing, Circle of Security, carrying in a sling, prams, cars - these all work because they meet the baby's neurological (brain) and social needs.
Ok - so we dont live in caves any more but the baby doesn't know he is in a safety standards approved cot in a warm safe house with a monitor on the wall so parents can hear every wimper.
Leaving a baby to CIO when HE is feeling unsafe is potentially harmful - he will be releasing stress hormones that are neurotoxic to his developing brain - cortisol receptors shut down. If a baby is responded to gently and lovingly, he develops a brain well stocked with cortisol receptors -thus when he is older and confronted with a stressful situation, cortisol will be mopped up and he will be able to switch off his stress response more quickly.
I am a lactation consultant and baby sleep consultant in Melbourne, I have seen babies who become hyper vigilant when left to cry - often screaming when taken anywhere near their cots after CIO - it isnt worth the stress to the whole family. Babies cries are a COMMUNICATION, not MANIPULATION !
There ARE gentle ways to help your baby sleep - see my teleseminar series beginning tomorrow with leading international baby sleep experts - www.pinkymckay.com.au/infantsleep (there is a free recording).
If it's a little, little baby, you should probably get up and change because they might be sick or need a diaper change. Once the child is a toddler, they need to learn to stay by themselves for a few hours, so can probably be left safely alone.