How Should You Discipline Your Child?

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The following rubric is adapted from Talk to Me, Baby!:  How You Can Support Young Children's Language Development, by Betty Bardige, Ed.D..  It works for children of all ages, from toddlers through teens!

A:   Anticipate problems .   For toddlers, this means removing dangerous temptations and sources of conflict, preparing children for changes and new experiences, and trying to avoid making too many demands when they are tired or hungry. For older children, this can mean discussing peer pressure and risky behavior and planning together how you can support them when challenges arise.

B:   Be proactive and playful.   Use family stories, children’s books, pretend play, and “teachable moments”     to model good behavior.   Make chores fun with fantasy, music, and jokes -- or turn them into games, contests, and challenges.  Use humor to defuse conflicts and power struggles, without compromising essential values.

C.   Calm yourself .   When children sense your tension, they often become more anxious, resistant, or “out of control.”   Also, when you are calm you are less likely to do or say something you will later regret.  Take a deep breath, count to 10, give yourself a "time out" -- whatever works.  Help children discover and practice self-calming techniques that work for them as well.

S :   Scaffold solutions.   Help children figure out how to solve the problem in a positive way and avoid similar problems in the future.