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You have probably heard the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Do you agree with it? Perhaps you were spanked as a kid. Was it appropriate? Some people see spanking as an outdated method of punishment or even child abuse, while others view a swat on the bottom as a parent's prerogative. Where do we draw the line when it comes to disciplining our children?
Just for the record: Rosemond has an MA in his field, I have a Ph.D. in mine. We both are "experts" on the results of hitting children. In fact (as opposed to a selective reading of the Old Testament), no studies have ever shown (contra Rosemond) that spanking has beneficial results. The consensus is that it has severe & longlasting bad results for children under the age of 2 or past puberty, and about 20% of other kids. Why take the chance for nothing?
Many advocates of "Biblical chastisement" write separate arguments for Punitive Christian and secular audiences. Is Rosemond one of them?
- rkd August 9, 2008 8:07AM
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Stop comparing child raising and law enforcement.
- Adam Hammond
November 12, 2008 2:54PM
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Spanking is Ineffective
- From Center for Effective Discipline
By Center for Effective Discipline
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Facts, please.
What studies? What numbers? Please, no hand waving citing of "they say" or "studies show..."
- Llantha
July 27, 2008 9:27AM
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Spanking is necessary sometimes
It all depends on the circumstances. When your child does something good, you positively reinforce that by doing something positive. But if your child does something wrong, sometimes the only way to get him to stop repeatedly doing it is to spank him. Keep in mind that nobody is advocating BEATING a child, but a spanking them once or twice to get their full attention has to remain a parental tool.
For example, think about it from this perspective: You are a child whose parents never discipline you physically, even when you repeatedly do physical things that break/damage people/belongings after being told to stop and given alternatives. So now you go to school and continue the bad behavior. What will likely happen if you start touching or hurting people? Eventually someone will hit you, very hard, to get you to stop. And you'll stop, because you don't want to get beat.
Obviously it all depends on the situation, but without a powerfully negative reinforcement (motivator) available to stop or curb bad behavior, a child who knows this will continue to misbehave.
- ozzy og kush
September 17, 2008 3:38PM
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Side: Yes
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The proof is in the pudding
I am very familiar with spanking -- was spanked dozens of times myself, and spank my own children. I am also very familiar with those who do not spank. Instead of simple commands that yield obedience, it is "You come NOW!! If you don't come by five (all between clenched teeth) I will...
1...2...3..."
What is most abusive anyways? There is no such conflict between the parents and children of those who understand obedience and where authority rests. Spanking instills in children an understanding of cause and effect, of justice, and it brings a release from guilt.
There is no way anyone will convince me that spanking my children makes them violent, when many non-spanking parents let their children play video games of shooting and killing and say it is harmless.
Obviously spanking is not the key for every situation, but it is essential for teaching the fundamentals of life.
Notice how the center for effective discipline uses the word "hit " instead of spank? I think it shows that they just don't get the fundamentals of the place and purpose of spanking.
- DMartin
October 7, 2008 8:05PM
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Good Intentions
Parents don't simply "hit" their children just to stop their current behavior - parents have good intentions as long as their actions are not over the top. When i was kid and if i did something bad i would get a small pat on the rear. . . do i have mental incapabilities today? do i have handicapped reasoning skills? do i have trouble socializing with people? No. I am a normal, healthy person who has morals, and lives by them. Reasonable discipline is not a negative thing and its not a form of abuse.
- Edgin7
January 25, 2009 9:44PM
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Positive Effects of Spanking
The action of spanking does stop bad behavior in the short term, but the long term effects can be just as positive. Children learn to respect their parents' authority when they know that misbehavior will result in spanking. Occasional spanking can even reduce the amount a parent needs to discipline a child. For example, my father spanked me as a child, and I learned to obey him when he gave "the look" because I knew what would happen next. After I learned that spanking was a posibility when I misbehaved, he rarely had to spank me again. Spanking is not only about punishment; it is about establishing parental authority.
- nclark
January 25, 2009 10:32PM
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Spanking is not the actual punishment
As one who was spanked as a child, I do feel that it is an effective form of discipline. All of this controversy arises due to the various definitions of spanking . Spanking and child abuse are two completely different stories. Spanking is not a beating – in fact, spanking is not even the punishment itself. Spanking is the first step in the discipline process. When a child is in the midst of breaking a rule, a quick tap on the butt gets their attention. This spank is not the punishment, but it stops the child in their tracks and makes them listen to what the parent has to say. The punishment then ensues, coming in the form of words. A parent can tell the child what they did wrong, that they broke a rule, and send them to their room, no harm done. A child’s tears do not come from the smart of the smack, but from the guilt of disrespecting their parents and knowing they did wrong.
- kas43091
February 8, 2009 6:46PM
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Giving Warnings
I agree completely. In most cases a child has a warning also, its not as if a parent just loses control after a kid does or says something inappropriate. Most parents iniate a countdown like "one. . . two. . ." or warn them "you better stop." When I was a little kid and was throwimg a temper tantrum my mom would always tell me "you better stop this behavior before I get to three." Then she would start counting and it would work everytime and I would stop when she got to two.
- Edgin7
February 10, 2009 9:27AM
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Spanking is Ineffective
I appreciate the concern which is been rose. The things need to be sorted out because it’s not about the individual but it can be with everyone.
real estate
- Provenor
April 27, 2009 10:44PM
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Talk to the Wall
I agree that when you get spanked for doing something wrong, you stop for the momment. But you do that same wrong doing and you get spanked yet again. I think that you should use an alternative besides spanking . When I babysit my little sisters, my mom always tells me to find better ways to reprimand them when they are misbehaving. She tells me that instead of spanking them, i could put them on the wall and let them stand there for at least three minutes. Once the three minutes are up, you explain to them what they did wrong and make them understand that it was wrong and have them tell you they understand. Usually they understand, and if they don't, it's okay. We have to remember these are just kids who are still learning the obstacles that they are taking to create their life and their personalities. We have to have patience with them and give them time to realize that something is not right.
- Norm44
February 11, 2009 11:48AM
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A Little Bit of Reality
I understand that different people have different ways of discipling children, but I ultimately think that spanking is an acceptable form of discipline - when its used with discretion. In most cases, making a child sit in a chair or putting them in a corner helps, but if you watch some of those reality shows on t.v. it doesn't always work effectively in every situation.
- Edgin7
February 12, 2009 2:16PM
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Good spanking demands good parenting
Good spanking is done in the context of good parenting . Bad spanking is done in the context of bad parenting. Bad spanking produces bad results. Arguing a particular form of teaching is inherently effective or ineffective misses the point.
Good spankers employ other means 98% of the time and are smart enough to know it has value.
As most things in life--the issue is the appropriate time and place. What the anti-spankers are really highlighting, in my mind, is that most spanking is not good and is not being done in the context of good parenting. What I am saying is that you have done absolutely nothing for me by advocating I never spank.
- letjusticerolldown
April 4, 2009 7:28PM
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