Spanking is Ineffective
Parents hit children to change their behavior in the present and in the future. Spanking usually stops misbehavior of small children just for the moment, not over the long term. Studies show that the more children are spanked the less likely they are to be compliant and well-behaved in the long term. Spanking does not teach children why their behavior was wrong or what they should do instead; it teaches children that the only reason to behave appropriately is to avoid being punished. Effective discipline involves teaching children how to behave and why so that they can make appropriate choices in the future.
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People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, college students, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the sex organs, anal region, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net
Child bottom-slapping/battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child bottom-slapping/battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping/battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
http://nospank.net/taylor.htm
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping/battering isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.
There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-slapping/battering instills virtue.
Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf
Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav
Parents that spank do not do it for pleasure or fun. They do explain (most of them) what is the problem with what they child had done. It's also not a constant thing. I was spanked as a child, but it was rare and when it was done it was because I pushed the boundaries of where I was supposed to stay in. You're trying really hard to make sure that there is no difference between abuse and spanking . That's terrible logic twisting you're doing.
"Did I not just tell you NOT to do that?" The child knows what's coming. Lie and that's it, say yes they know and that's it. They painted themselves into a corner. Consequences for actions are necessary.
Is it harsh to fire someone or should you coddle them and tell them it's alright they screwed up for the billionth time but you would rather not harm their job feelings so you'll keep paying the price for their mistakes? Because sometimes the harsh thing is the right thing. Harsh and abusive are not one and the same and making children think that is why there are false claims of abuse out there muddled with the real cases and those that are really in abusive families can't get help because people who can are wasting their time with those children that lie about abuse because of the muddled definition of what spanking is.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
Good spanking is done in the context of good parenting . Bad spanking is done in the context of bad parenting. Bad spanking produces bad results. Arguing a particular form of teaching is inherently effective or ineffective misses the point.
Good spankers employ other means 98% of the time and are smart enough to know it has value.
As most things in life--the issue is the appropriate time and place. What the anti-spankers are really highlighting, in my mind, is that most spanking is not good and is not being done in the context of good parenting. What I am saying is that you have done absolutely nothing for me by advocating I never spank.
I agree that when you get spanked for doing something wrong, you stop for the momment. But you do that same wrong doing and you get spanked yet again. I think that you should use an alternative besides spanking . When I babysit my little sisters, my mom always tells me to find better ways to reprimand them when they are misbehaving. She tells me that instead of spanking them, i could put them on the wall and let them stand there for at least three minutes. Once the three minutes are up, you explain to them what they did wrong and make them understand that it was wrong and have them tell you they understand. Usually they understand, and if they don't, it's okay. We have to remember these are just kids who are still learning the obstacles that they are taking to create their life and their personalities. We have to have patience with them and give them time to realize that something is not right.
I understand that different people have different ways of discipling children, but I ultimately think that spanking is an acceptable form of discipline - when its used with discretion. In most cases, making a child sit in a chair or putting them in a corner helps, but if you watch some of those reality shows on t.v. it doesn't always work effectively in every situation.
As one who was spanked as a child, I do feel that it is an effective form of discipline. All of this controversy arises due to the various definitions of spanking . Spanking and child abuse are two completely different stories. Spanking is not a beating – in fact, spanking is not even the punishment itself. Spanking is the first step in the discipline process. When a child is in the midst of breaking a rule, a quick tap on the butt gets their attention. This spank is not the punishment, but it stops the child in their tracks and makes them listen to what the parent has to say. The punishment then ensues, coming in the form of words. A parent can tell the child what they did wrong, that they broke a rule, and send them to their room, no harm done. A child’s tears do not come from the smart of the smack, but from the guilt of disrespecting their parents and knowing they did wrong.
I agree completely. In most cases a child has a warning also, its not as if a parent just loses control after a kid does or says something inappropriate. Most parents iniate a countdown like "one. . . two. . ." or warn them "you better stop." When I was a little kid and was throwimg a temper tantrum my mom would always tell me "you better stop this behavior before I get to three." Then she would start counting and it would work everytime and I would stop when she got to two.
I appreciate the concern which is been rose. The things need to be sorted out because it’s not about the individual but it can be with everyone.
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The action of spanking does stop bad behavior in the short term, but the long term effects can be just as positive. Children learn to respect their parents' authority when they know that misbehavior will result in spanking. Occasional spanking can even reduce the amount a parent needs to discipline a child. For example, my father spanked me as a child, and I learned to obey him when he gave "the look" because I knew what would happen next. After I learned that spanking was a posibility when I misbehaved, he rarely had to spank me again. Spanking is not only about punishment; it is about establishing parental authority.
Parents don't simply "hit" their children just to stop their current behavior - parents have good intentions as long as their actions are not over the top. When i was kid and if i did something bad i would get a small pat on the rear. . . do i have mental incapabilities today? do i have handicapped reasoning skills? do i have trouble socializing with people? No. I am a normal, healthy person who has morals, and lives by them. Reasonable discipline is not a negative thing and its not a form of abuse.
I am very familiar with spanking -- was spanked dozens of times myself, and spank my own children. I am also very familiar with those who do not spank. Instead of simple commands that yield obedience, it is "You come NOW!! If you don't come by five (all between clenched teeth) I will...
1...2...3..."
What is most abusive anyways? There is no such conflict between the parents and children of those who understand obedience and where authority rests. Spanking instills in children an understanding of cause and effect, of justice, and it brings a release from guilt.
There is no way anyone will convince me that spanking my children makes them violent, when many non-spanking parents let their children play video games of shooting and killing and say it is harmless.
Obviously spanking is not the key for every situation, but it is essential for teaching the fundamentals of life.
Notice how the center for effective discipline uses the word "hit " instead of spank? I think it shows that they just don't get the fundamentals of the place and purpose of spanking.
It all depends on the circumstances. When your child does something good, you positively reinforce that by doing something positive. But if your child does something wrong, sometimes the only way to get him to stop repeatedly doing it is to spank him. Keep in mind that nobody is advocating BEATING a child, but a spanking them once or twice to get their full attention has to remain a parental tool.
For example, think about it from this perspective: You are a child whose parents never discipline you physically, even when you repeatedly do physical things that break/damage people/belongings after being told to stop and given alternatives. So now you go to school and continue the bad behavior. What will likely happen if you start touching or hurting people? Eventually someone will hit you, very hard, to get you to stop. And you'll stop, because you don't want to get beat.
Obviously it all depends on the situation, but without a powerfully negative reinforcement (motivator) available to stop or curb bad behavior, a child who knows this will continue to misbehave.
What studies? What numbers? Please, no hand waving citing of "they say" or "studies show..."