You have probably heard the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Do you agree with it? Perhaps you were spanked as a kid. Was it appropriate? Some people see spanking as an outdated method of punishment or even child abuse, while others view a swat on the bottom as a parent's prerogative. Where do we draw the line when it comes to disciplining our children?
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It's true that John Rosemond has only a master's degree. Therefore he shouldn't be called "Dr" or honored with the title PhD. He also shouldn't call himself "family psychologist" because you have to have a PhD to be considered a psychologist. John Rosemond simply isn't on the same educational or professional level as those he chooses to disagree with. He's got a 37 year old master's degree (from a time when very little was known about psychology) and this degree is from a lesser university. And that's it.
It's time for everyone to realize that John Rosemond is no expert. It must be very embarrassing to real psychologists that Rosemond claims he is one!
- SojournerTruth
August 8, 2008 5:47PM
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I've seen abused children who were raped, beaten, and neglected turn to a parent and open up their arms with love and hopes of getting affection. They still want to be loved. The scars of abuse may fade away and some will go on to be very stable and happy people. What that proves is not that abuse is right. It proves that some people are quite resilient. Similarly a spanked child not hating their parents isn't proof that spanking was justified, necessary or appropriate. The loving and resilient nature of some children isn't an excuse to use corporal punishment. The reality is that it is not necessary to make children suffer to raise them to be loving, healthy, happy people - in fact it is easier to do so with kindness.
- barbz September 16, 2008 1:44PM
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I was spanked as a child and in the right context children can learn respect through it. If you need to spank daily however you need to find a new form of discipline cause its not working.
The average parent doesn't want to hurt their children, they want to teach them. If you're into spanking to hurt your children, thats child abuse. In my memory I only remembered actually getting spanked twice but it was more an emotional memory than a physical one. At most 3 slaps on the butt and I learned my lesson.
Parents need to find what works for them and their children. For example, I babysit an autistic boy. He doesn't respond to much except being removed from the situation. Scream at the top of your lungs all you want, he won't bat an eye. Hold his hands behind his back for a few seconds and he freaks out. Everything needs to be physical or it doesn't register.
- EAnthes
December 9, 2008 3:58PM
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Most compelling of all reasons not to spank are the following (which can be verified by people who were actually spanked themselves by doing a little internet research):
Even without sexual motives on the part of the punisher, spanking can interfere with a child’s normal sexual and psychological development. Because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sensations of sexual pleasure. This can happen even in very young children , and even in spite of great, clearly upsetting pain.
Tom Johnson Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
“Advocates of corporal punishment in schools should examine very carefully the weight of evidence now available and, particularly in light of the pornographic component, consider whether they can justify the continuation of a system with such a capacity for exciting unhealthy interest.”
British Psychological Society, “Report on Corporal Punishment in Schools” (1980)
“But what you would not so readily believe upon my affirmation, was that there are persons who are stimulated to venery by strokes of rods, and worked up into a flame of lust by blows... A strange instance what a power the force of education has in grafting inveterate ill habits on our morals...”
Johann Heinrich Meibom, physician, 1629
Unpleasant as this information is, we do our children a great disservice when we fail to acknowledge its truth.
Had we not turned a blind eye to the unpleasant phenomena of clergy abuse of children 20-30 years ago, many children would have been spared its devastating consequences. Peace.
- PDeverit May 5, 2009 5:39PM
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Spanking Has Existed for Centuries as a Form of Discipline
- From Anonymous Expert
By Anonymous Expert - Parenting Expert
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Beating adults has also existed for centuries
Children were hit throughout most of human history by whoever was stronger just as slaves and other vulnerable adults did.
Our violent human past (let alone present) is hardly a reason to continue hitting anyone if reason, science, true Christianty (following the actual teachings of Christ) and a growing respect of human rights shows us these things are harmful, unnecessary, and thus wrong to do.
At least Rosemond seems to know that the New Testament does not teach anyone to hit anyone. That's a start.
Not only does the "state" in the US not prevent parents from hitting children's buttocks, it actually performs routine ritual abuse itself with public school paddling in 21 states.
I guess Rosemond was joking when he said he hid his fetishes enough to pass as "normal," but many Christians hold deep dark fetishes related to spanking. I believe "Promise Keepers" found some 65% of church men attending had hidden problems with porno.
Its time to end the sick abuse.
- Jeff Charles
July 26, 2008 4:16PM
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The "Traditional Wisdom" Fallacy
Rosemond commits the "Traditional Wisdom" Fallacy in his post, something every first year college student should know not to do. He assumes that because something has been done for a long time, it must be good. If that were true, then slavery, wars of conquest, and no votes for women would also have to be good things.
He also points out that he was spanked and turned out alright, as if that showed that spanking is not harmful. By that reasoning, if someone drives home drunk and doesn't have an accident, it would have been shown that driving drunk is not harmful.
Lastly, he blames lack of spanking for violence in society despite the fact that all the evidence shows the correlation runs the other way - that kids from spanking households are much more likely to be violent adults.
- Greg1 August 7, 2008 6:29AM
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Spanking is a healthy form of correcting a child when done right.
I'm 42 years old. I grew up in a home where my mother spanked me. When she did spank me I knew why.
I believe as long as spanking is done with the right attitude and love we cannot go wrong.
Correcting a child out of anger is when it becomes wrong.
Love is correction.
I'm in constant contact with family and friends who do not correct by spanking their children and their children are very disrespectful to others including adults.
Taking their favorite toy, game, or time away with friends does not always work. That has been proven.
- kim42
August 27, 2008 8:35AM
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AND SPANKING DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK EITHER
Is spanking 100% effective? If we are honest, we would have to say no. I read where a retired school principal at one time used corporal punishment. Towards the end of his career, he had given up using it. Why? Because the same people were coming back to his office again and again and he realized that it just wasn't working. There is no place you can hit on the body without running the risk of injury. To a child there is no loving in a spanking, all spanking even if the parent is supposedly doing it in love causes pain and creates a bad impression in the mind of a child.If an adult does wrong, we cannot spank them for it. Why should children be any different? There are non violent ways of correcting out there. While they may not work all the time, they do work most of the time. Please give them a fair chance. If one doesn't succeed, try another. We have electric lights today because Thomas Edison failed 1000 times but never gave up until he discovered a light bulb that worked.
- edwin p
August 27, 2008 1:57PM
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No form of discipline is 100%
There is no form of discipline that is 100% effective. If it were, then just telling your child no and why no, would work. However, each child is different, they have different personalities, and are their own individual person. If you tell a child the first time no, and they do it any way, What then? "Now son, I told you not to do that. I see we have a problem here, lets sit down and discuss this a while. Do you know what you did that was wrong?" That may work the first time, but what about the second time? "Son, now this is twice I have told you not to do that. This is becoming a habbit and we have got to deal with this..." Or what about the 3rd, 4th, 5th time? See where this is going? When I tell my son no, and he does it any way, the first time he gets lectured as to why not to do it. The second time, he gets restricted from his computer, the third, well, he gets a swat. 9 times out of 10, the swat works where the lectured did not. However, not all things that they do wrong merrit a spanking . For example, you do not spank a child for getting into the cookie jar before supper. That is senseless. However, on the other hand, when the child is blatently defiant, such as, "No, I am not going to do it, and you cannot make me." that is a different story. One swat on the padded parts will not kill them, nor will it injure their mind for life. It will however, let them know that disrespect will not be tollerated.
- UltraConservative November 4, 2008 10:14PM
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Really? I know just the opposite.
I know people who spanked their kids and those kids grew up to be horrible mean people. I also know people who didn't spank their kids, and the children turned out to be respectful, well adjusted people.
- illusion
June 10, 2009 7:33PM
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Hey
Slavery also existed for centuries. So did racism, prejudice, and public executions. Hell, before indoor plumbing, "going to the bathroom" meant "squatting over a hole in the ground and ignoring the overwhelming stench". Does this justify suicide as an effective form of anti-depressant? I'm quite suicide has been along for a while ("Romeo and Juliet", anyone?)
What I'm trying to say is: just because people have been doing it for a long time, doesn't mean its right. People have been wrong before.
- NCHammer326 September 2, 2008 8:27PM
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Is spanking necessary to raise productive members of society?
Children often continue to love their parents regardless how much abuse they experience while growing up. The question is, if spanking is not necessary... why do it? What or who's needs are being served by spanking?
- rose
September 15, 2008 1:48PM
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Side: No
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