Punishment Only Stops Misbehavior in the Moment

I am not a parent,therefore, i haven't received the huge shock of attaining such a responsibility. My parents, however, we're good parents. I know what a real family should be like,and to say that getting the old belt didn't get my attention and teach me the basic right from wrongs would make me a liar. My parents both suffered throughout their childhood, one from lack of parenting (to the point of outright neglect), and the other from too strict a parent (though nonabusive). They grew up knowing what bad parents we're like, and they didn't adopt many of their parents attributes when considering me and my siblings. That did not stop them from making the right decision when considering discipline . Discipline taught me respect. Respect taught me right from wrong. I am a happy adult, I am a law -abiding citizen. What I am not is a typical kid today. I don't control my household, I don't talk back (all the time), I'm grateful for my house, my family, my life. I've had great times, and i've been amazingly pissed for not being allowed to have great times. best believe my dad has saved my ass more than once by doing so. Correct discipline is how parents control their kids ,and that saves kids from themselves.

I know for a fact that those horrible loud meltdowns do in fact happen, fairly regularly. Hell I remember doing it. I wanted a "Moosel Toy" (I have no idea what the real name was, but they were hanging from the ceiling of the toy and I had to have it. Screamed the entire time we were in the store "I WANT MY MOOSEL TOY!" Full hissy fit. Crying, throwing myself to the floor. Being a general nuisance.

My son tried a tantrum once, I picked him, walked out of the store and had him sit in the car till he was done crying and told him he would get nothing for his behavior. Hasn't tried it since.

On Saturday I was in a store, and there were Yoshi dolls (dinosaur thing from Super Mario brothers). The kid wanted the biggest one (For like $50 bucks) and his mom said he could have the smallest one. Threw himself to the floor, and cried and screamed. Kicked too.

As for the article.

I believe a child needs to learn that there are consequences to his actions. An older child will do better with being spoken to, a 2 year old will look at you blankly (as a general thing).

We (my husband and I) have a glass coffee table.At around 1 1/2 my son liked to climb on it, even though he was told repeatedly that it was dangerous and we didn't want him climbing on it.
We believe in physical punishment, as a rare thing to do. Not as a first line of defense.
So after several times of taking him off the table, telling him we didn't want him climbing on it, and putting him in a corner for it. My husband smacked him, one time, firmly on the butt, and told him not to go on it again. Guess what, he never climbed on the table again.

I do not believe in spanking , because then it is allowing you to lose control and take your anger out on the child instead of it being a discipline . 1 firm swat. Make that one hit count, and that's it. But also to be used rarely.
In the case of the glass table, I'd rather my son be afraid of what I or my husband might do to him, as opposed to him falling through it and suffering greater harm.

Every child is different. We're told this over and over again. Why is it then that all these "experts" seem to think there is only 1 way to do so? My generation was as a whole lacking in the discipline department. The next generation is even worse. Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, things aren't being handled very well.
And that the "experts"should stop telling people what is the right way and the wrong way.

Right off the batt--no one is perfect on this issue. From small children to teen agers. I have been active on both. Sometimes a swat on the bottom is appropiate--to mainly get their attention mostly. There is a difference between a swat and a beating folks. At other times a long talk at the kitchen is very good--with teen agers especially. They hate that. As long as the parents are responsable with their punnishment's--I don't have a problem with that--as long as they punish and not beat the child. There are many ways to punish--and all kids are different. The one thing I do not like is for the goverment to tell me how to raise my children and how to correct them. The common people are too triger happy to tell on one another to the sherriff or cops. Gets very ugly when they step in. Now if the parents are beating the child--then by all means report them. The basic thing these days is----the fact that the parents do not have any time with their kids. So the kids entertain theirselves either with the gamers-----or mischief they do not need--Its all for attention folks. Your kids need attention from you--sawmill king.

I've been shopping in grocery stores for decades, thousands of times, and NEVER seen the supposed typical toddler having a meltdown tantrum because she couldn't have sugar bomb cereal or something. Sorry, but these "tantrums" just don't exist. They're a figment of angry adult's minds who need to lash out at someone who can't hit back.

Tantrums do happen however. Any person who is so upset that they are screaming and/or throwing things is not pleasant to witness but get over it. Even adults act that way sometimes and nobody comes over and clobbers them to get them to stop. Back up, and you will undoubtedly find that some adult really pissed off the upset kid by refusing to let them out of the shopping cart or snatched something away from the child or wouldn't listen to the child. What I see in stores is adults on power trips forcing their children to do boring things, to sit still when they should know children NEED to move, to not touch things when it is children's INSTINCTUAL NATURE to touch interesting objects, to not complain when they're tired, or hungry, or have to pee, etc. etc. Parents are incredibly insensitive to their children in stores. If you can't have patience with a child's needs and desires while you're shopping then LEAVE THE CHILDREN AT HOME WITH YOUR SPOUSE OR A BABYSITTER WHEN YOU SHOP. Everyone benefits.

'Spare the rod and spoil the child' is an adage.Yet, punishment is not the only way to discipline a child, in fact, at best it could be only one of the many many ways of handling undesirable behavior in the child. Punishment only suppresses the unwanted behavior, does not eradicate it. Even that suppression depends on presence of external control, moment the the controlling agent/authority is absent behavior surfaces! Because, the control is not internalized as value. Internalization takes place when the reason for eliminating unwanted behavior is explained and made understood by the child, then the cognitive restructuring occurs. Parents need to have little patience, empathy and skills of relating to child for this but that is worth the task in the long range in disciplining the child.

There may be a place for physical punishment too in extreme cases when no other control mechanism succeed. But then, we must follow the following three to avoid ill effects of physical punishment or any punishment in fact: 1.Punish immediately after the negative behavior occur, punishing after a gap does not get related to behavior and results in several other implications. 2 At the same time look for a positive behavior in the child to occur(I am sure there will be one positive behavior even in a worse child!) and immediately reward it(kissing, hugging, patting, praising and even material rewards) so that child will discover that the parent are not against him because they punished but can offer love to if only he does such and such behavior. 3. Practice both, simultaneously punishing the 'bad' and praising the 'good' , immediately after they occur.By this, we communicate to the child not only what he should not do(punished ones) but also what he should(praised ones). A new 'culture' of behavior emerge for the good of self and others.