Disciplining your child is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. Of course you want to correct negative behaviors in the most productive way possible, but sometimes the words “military school” can sound pretty tempting. How can you be sure the way you discipline your child will produce a happy and healthy adult?
Developmental Psychologist
Discipline means teaching, or guidance. The aim of discipline should always be to help your child learn positive behavior and self-control. How you discipline depends, of course, on your child’s level of maturity. Very young children are just learning what is acceptable in different situations, and need both firm limits and lots of opportunities to learn and practice good behavior. The more you can use language to offer them choices, explain your reasons in simple terms, and teach them polite, helpful things to say, the better. Soon they will be able to “use their words” to remind themselves of the rules and resolve conflicts in positive ways.
For older children and teens, the best discipline teaches by allowing them to experience the natural consequences of their failures and transgressions and take responsibility for repairing any damage. This is not always, possible, of course. As with toddlers, it is important to keep in mind the educational purpose of discipline, avoid power struggles, and help the child toward greater self-control and responsibility. Often, a child can be involved in determining an appropriate consequence and restitution strategy.
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