It's Humiliating and Unfair
Children never benefit from being smacked, however lightly, and wherever that smack lands. Younger children especially will struggle to equate that smack with their disapproved-of behaviour. They won't understand that they are being punished, or what that punishment is for. They will, however, feel physical pain. And, worse still, they will feel frightened and humiliated, dominated by a big, loud, angry adult. Does any loving parent really want their kids to feel like this? Of course not.
Corporal punishment breaches a child’s fundamental human right to respect for human dignity and physical integrity. It is condemned by Unicef, members of the Committee on the Rights of the Child and human rights/child welfare organisations across the globe. Why? Because those organisations believe that a child should have the same rights as an adult, and because they see smacking as cruel, abusive and degrading.
Research by Save the Children and the National Children’s Bureau found that children who had been smacked on the head, face or cheek saw no difference between being smacked by a parent and hit by a bully. This is one of the worst accepts of smacking, because it teaches children that violence is acceptable and shows them you have lost control. The research also found that smacking damaged the relationship between parent and child and made the children feel they didn’t like or trust their parents as much, even if the smacking was infrequent.
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i'm sure you know that. you don't a shit though. you just want to seem right. seem good. you need to be punched in the head. then you will know someone somewhere goin to call you on your shit. You can learn something there. maybe you will learn to take boxing lessons. maybe you will learn to vote for nazi socialists. but something will be learned.
i don't really believe in smacking kids . i think it's more impactful to smack them intellectually or emotionally. you're flithy kind will not understand the similiarity or essential sameness. punishment. discipline . a illogical brain dead, feel good shallow supperfical selfish malignacy is what you people are.
Punishing a child by hitting, shaming, forcing to sit in a chair, etc. etc. is wrong. It stifles communication. It belittles the child.
Children know adults have more experience with life and they will listen and learn if you sound serious and caring. I totally disagree with this whole "choose a side" poll because timeouts and physical punishment are both bad and have been proven to be harmful. "Uncommitted" isn't a choice either! I'm a very committed, decisive parent who never punishes. I have the most sensitive and respectful children who show more affection and trust than any other children I've seen. Ever. It's because I take the time to understand and communicate and listen and instruct and work out problems.
Children are people so treat them like people. They're not possessions. They're human beings. It seems most adults are completely blind to the fact that children become adults and all adults were children once! We're all one continuum. Good grief, wake up and start acting like intelligent human beings instead of slave masters.
I checked uncommitted because the "best way to discipline is a combination of many methods; physical is just one and timeouts is another, and both have their place. Why is most everything I read is one side or the other? Let me preface this with, "I do not believe "smacking" is ever the proper method and it is not included in my definition of Corporal Punishment". Corporal punishment is an adequate swat to the posterior with a paddle that will not cause bruising or other bodily harm. It will, however, produce enough pain to cause the young child to realize the specific behavior or action on their part is wrong. Corporal punishment is usually followed up with appropriate timeout and reflection time on their part and further explanation by parent as to what was wrong with their behavior or action. This is basic parenting 101 and my wife and I used it successfully, most of the time (we are not perfect as our kids are not either, and we all made mistakes; but, I am very pleased with my adult children - all of them.
Corporal punishment done properly is neither humiliating nor unfair. What is humiliating and unfair is when an elementary age child talks to an adult, school kitchen worker like she is a "piece of dirt" and demands her to comply with their demands. That, my friend, is the impact when corporal punishment is "never" administered when it is required. The total absence of proper corporal punishment has produced a whole generation of undisciplined, disrespectful people. I drive by them in the neighborhood streets and walk by them in malls, schools, churches, etc. My wife and I raised 4 boys and 1 girl who are respectful, hardworking members of society. Go ahead and ask them if the "spankings" they received on the 'behind' with the "paddle" (not the hand), caused them psychological harm and other bad effects. They will tell you, NO.
Parents, the first ten years are the easy ones when you start "early". I found the teen years to be the most difficult, even when the early years of discipline worked then. The methods definitely change during the teen years through high school, and that is a whole other subject.
Parents, corporal punishment is appropriate and it does work when done properly and when it is called for. Their is a difference between "childish" behavior and "disobedience" and it is the "disobedience" that sometimes requires corporal punishment.
I have always used spanking (on the bottom only with your hand only) only after using up all other available avenues. However, when it was done I made sure it was done in a loving way and not with anger. It doesn't have to be hard but firm. Each time it took place I then took time to embrace the child and talk to them about the consequences of their actions. They knew that I did it not because I was big and bad, but because I loved them and wanted what was best for them. They understood that those type of actions were not acceptable. Today both my children are grown adults, one married with her own child and one graduatin from high school on the "A" honor roll. Whether you are using verbal correction, assertive actions or spanking, it must ALL be done in love with right motives. I believe that is why a majority of children today grow up undisciplined and feeling unloved. A vast number of parents simply let the child raise themselves and let them "work out" their anger on their own. After all "they're just children" they say. The problem is that they grow up not knowing that they are responsible for their actions and have no sense of respect for lifes authorities. They key is to temper any correction with heart felt love and out of concern for the childs future.
Many of us were spanked as children (including me) and we turned out "fine." My argument is that something other than spanking (helpfing me focus on solutions) might have given me even more skills. I think that most parents would prefer not to spank if they had other options (other than permissiveness)that not only dealt with the behavior problem, but also taught children valuable social and life skills such and focusing on solutions to correct the "misbehavior."
"Because those organisations believe that a child should have the same rights as an adult,"
This is no argument at all but simply an opinion shared by some. I don't agree. Children have limited rights compared to an adult. They do have the right to be protected from overly abusive parents however.
The best way to discipline a child varies from child to child. Most of the time spanking (on the bottom only) is unnecessary but some children (like myself when I was a child) will respond to nothing else. I was extremely hyperactive and undisciplined as a child. Reasoning with me didn't work. On rare occasions I was spanked. Somehow I managed to grow up into a loving, caring assertive and nonviolent adult. I have never been a fight in my life. There is no one size fits all solution. The so called "experts" don't know as much as the individual parent who deals with the child every day.
Alfred Adler (whose philosopy is the foundation for Positive Discipline) taught that all people have equal rights to dignity and respect--including children. This does not mean they have the same experience and maturity. Children still need lots of guidance and learning. However, spanking violates their rights to dignity and respect.
With all due respect to Alfred Aldler and you, I disagree. Children certainly have the right to be treated kindly and properly cared for but for some children over about 6 years old spanking is necessary to teach them discipline (as a last resort of course). I was one of those children and thank God my parents spanked me when necessary. The Idea that children have the same rights as adults is IMO wrong. They don't have the maturity or experience necessary. Full equal rights comes only when they become independent of their parents. If you are going to use that as an argument against spanking you will get nowhere. When it comes to child rearing there are no experts.
I don't claim to be an expert. I have opinions--just as you do.
As a parent, I didn't feel good about spanking , so I looked for methods that worked better. I'm not saying that spanking doesn't stop misbehavior. I just don't like the other results of spanking. One mother shared that she spanked her three-year-old and sent him to time-out in his room. In a few minutes she peeked in and saw him sitting on the bed hitting himself in the face and saying, "I'm a bad boy." It broke her heart and she decided she would never spank again. Spanking creates a sense of doubt and shame that is not healthy. So, I found ways to be kind and firm at the same time--methods that got my children involved in thinking skills and problem-solving skills. I don't think any parent would spank if they had more respectful methods to help their children improve their behavior--and their sense of self-worth.
3 years old is too young to spank IMO. Children don't understand the concept of personnel consequences until about 5 +/-. My experiences are different than yours that's why we disagree. That is also why I said all other methods should be tried first, but for some children only spanking seems to work. There is no one size fits all solution. It is also why I believe you are wrong when you say no parent should spank. Absolute statements are rarely correct.
In NZ smacking was made illegal last year. We believe in consequences where possible rather than punishment. For example if one of our children causes a mess, then he or she is expected to (and does) clean it up to the best of his or her ability.