Should You Let Your Child Cry It Out?

Some children made to cry it out to sleep cry so violently that they vomit. Some parents find that the nighttime crying affects their babies' daytime personalities — making them clingy and fussy. Many find that any setback (teething, sickness, missing a nap) sends them back to their night waking problems, and they find they must let their babies cry it out over and over again.

Dr. Paul M. Fleiss and Frederick Hodges in Sweet Dreams: A Pediatrician's Secrets for Baby's Good Night's Sleep have this to say about cry-it-out sleep training programs:

“A child cannot com prehend why you are ignoring his cries for help. Ignoring your baby's cries, even with the best of intentions, may lead him to feel that he has been abandoned. Babies are responding to biological needs that sleep 'experts' either ignore or deny. It is true that a baby whose crying is ignored may eventually fall back asleep, but the problem that caused the night waking in the first place has remain unsolved. 

“The most sensible and com passionate approach is to respond immediately to your child's cries. Remind yourself that you are the parent, and that giving your baby reassurance is one of the joyous responsibilities of being a parent. It is a beautiful feeling knowing that you alone have the power to brighten your child's life and banish fear and sorrow.”

Professor Margot Sunderland, a leading expert in the development of children's brains and a British Medical Association award-winning author, says, “If you ignore a crying child, tell them to shut up or put them in a room on their own, you can cause serious damage to their brains on a level that can result in neurosis and emotional disorders later in life,' Based on her four-year study of brain scans and scientific research, Sunderland entreats parents to reject the theories of ‘controlled crying’.

A child’s cries are his way of com municating his needs. If you ignore this attempt at com munication you are sending a message to your child that his feelings are not important to you, and that you are not the one to call to for help. These feelings can be bred into other relationship areas as your child grows older. By ignoring a child’s cries you may be setting up a pattern that will follow for the rest of your life in your relationship with your child.