Children’s Emotional Development Suffers When Mothers are Absent
According to Public Agenda, the premier nonpartisan polling agency, by an overwhelming margin -- 81% to 1% -- parents say that children who spend the day with a stay-at-home parent are more likely to get the affection and attention they deserve. A child’s emotional development is severely at risk when mothers are routinely unavailable. Young children do not form a strong attachment to a person they little of, and the lack of a healthy mother-child bond can lead to lifelong problems. No matter how much “quality time” a working mother spends with her child, it cannot make up for the number of hours she has been absent.
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I will not deny that children who spend more time away from their mother will have a different relationship than a child that spends a lot of time with their mother, however, which child is worse off? "Young children do not form a strong attachment to a person they little of" but on the other side of that, if a child spends too much time with thier mother they could also have too strong of an attachment. This can lead to even worse problems. If a child is not very attached to thier mother, they may look for attachment somewhere else but if a child is too attached they may fall into the trap of never being able to function without thier mother. Many children that try to leave home for college and such come back because they don't know how to make decisions for themselves or they simply never leave. If a mother attempts to have the same attachment to thier child when they are 18 as when they were 4 there is no growth.
Also, "Quality time" can be a good thing because this can help the child feel special since thier mother is putting aside time just for thier child, rather then just always seeing them.
According to Erik Erikson’s Eight Stage of Development, the first few years of a child’s life, typically when they are placed in a daycare, are key in the development of trust and security. During early infancy, a child learns whether he can trust and be supported by the world around him. If all but two days of the week he is in daycare, the child cannot rely on his ‘teachers’ or his mother to be there for him no matter what. It is important for there to be one person that the child knows he can always fall back on. Sometimes his mother is gone and sometimes the teachers are gone, therefore the child loses that sense of security and knowing that his mother will be there for him 24/7.
Erikson’s second stage focuses on autonomy. This, however, cannot be achieved without passing through the first stage successfully, meaning trusting. A child cannot fully explore his freedoms without a strong foundation he knows he can fall back on. Taking risks and trying new things is how a child is introduced to the world. If a child wants to explore and go out on his own, he must be secure in knowing that his mother will rescue him if things do not turn out as planned.
Erikson’s entire theory is based on the fact that one cannot successfully progress through all eight stages of development unless he completes each individual step in the correct manner with a positive outcome. When a child is away from his mother during the earliest years of his life, he fails to succeed the first key step of development, which therefore snowballs and affects the rest of his development.
In response to “Depends on the Child”, the emotional well-being of a child does have the chance to be affected, but overall, it is not. If daycare was found to be such a problem, then daycare would no longer be used because of the large majority of parents worrying about their children. But because daycare is still used, daycare simply provides a learning environment for a child while the mother is at work. In fact, daycare can be quite similar to pre-school, which has been found to be beneficial for a child.
When the mother or father takes her or his child to daycare, what message does this send to the child? Some children will think it's just another day to spend with my friends having fun BUT other children may take it as abandonment. No matter if the parents are almost perfect and rear their children with love and affection, some children just have to have one of their parents with them during the day.
I worked very briefly at a daycare. It was one of the most highly recommended facilities in a very affluent area. The workers were intelligent, attentive and kind. I had anticipated a general acceptance of their situation by the children , who were too young to know anything different, but what I encountered surprised me. Each morning most of the children cried either as their mother dropped them off or shortly after. Many of them lingered at the window watching long after their mom's car had disappeared out of sight. They did seem to get a second wind as the activities of the day began, but anytime there was an upset, the little ones were calling for their mommy. As the day wore on and the children became tired, they began looking longingly towards the windows again. As children began to leave, many of those left behind would cry when the arriving mother was not their own. It broke my heart. The entire day for the vast majority of these children revolved around the departure and return of their mom. She was always on their minds, and they missed her all day. I had thought that only one or two children would be profoundly affected by the separation, but it was nearly universal. There is no one like mom in a little one's life, and her absence is not unimportant.
My child is pdd-nos with autism. To leave him with someone else I feel is dangerous. Autistic children tend to just open doors and run, into pools, into traffic...etc. I'm sure there is a place that might offer what I need in a daycare, that doesn't mind changing a 4yr olds diaper. In my opinion while my child spends all day receiving therapies I choose not to send him to more strangers after his tough day. It might make him feel unwanted by me. Since he doesn't speak it might make the childcare worker more apt to just ignore him. like the autistic child left on the schoolbus. This question does seem a little bias. I think it's up to the individual. I don't have enough time during the day to do all I want and I don't work...