Baby Boomers Screwed Up Parenting
What has happened to parenting with respect to discipline is a much broader problem than is being debated here. During the 1960s and 1970s, a great shift occurred as Baby Boomers challenged not just the way children were being disciplined, but the concept of discipline itself. Their general attitude was that rules stifle creativity. Rather than simply “telling children what to do,” they believed parents should talk with their children instead of “at” them. The family meeting concept, as discussed in the “positive discipline” approach, is an example of this.
The problem with this parenting style is that it eradicates the line between adult and child. Thus, parents and children no longer understand their respective roles. With this clear breakdown of authority (which is evident in our schools as well as our homes), children, and society, pay the price. Writes columnist Leonard Pitts, “Where previous generations were restrictive, baby boomers were permissive. Where previous generations gave orders, baby boomers negotiated. Mothers and fathers had been the parents; baby boomers became equals, co-playmates. And we’re seeing the fruit of that approach. We’re seeing kids who are disconnected, disaffected, materialistic, filled with a misplaced sense of entitlement and sometimes, just flat-out spoiled.”
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I agree that parents need to definitely be in charge with very young children . Children much before age ten just don't know what's what. With the advent of the teen years comes the time for becoming less of an authority figure and more of an advisor.
It's certainly best to speak with children and not at them. I saw a mother with her 2 year explain to her complex things honestly and with clarity. This child was brilliant. It was the funniest thing to see her ask quests and her mother confidently and clearly explain them in steady detail where the child understood. 2 years old. not three, 1 and 11 months. I saw a four year old similiar. That's how to raise children. The problem is there's so many stupid adults. There is no way they could explain things with clarity. These kids would be like,'you make no sense i have no idea what you mean'.
let the stupid adults raise stupid children. LEt them fail in society. What we need to do is make sure not give them social hand out. we should not let them vote either.
I don't know if I would blame the Boomers, but I will have to agree that parenting is much different from when I grew up...and I don't think that I am THAT old yet (Gen X). I work with these 20-somethings who think they should be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to (like showing up for work), and grew up in this fantasy-land of receiving "participation awards". It's really kind of unfair to these kids to raise them this way...because the real world is MUCH different from how they are being raised. Ugh.
That wasn't IT at all. What they did wrong was to leave us alone to much. We got off the bus by ourselves, and let ourselves into the house. We cooked some cheap frozen pizza and watched Gilligan's island. They chased the American dream, and acted as though we were obstacles to their materialism.
It was never their talking to us or failing to 'order us around' that was the problem.
i remember cooking my mac n cheese outside in the back yard with a candle. I don't think most kid were taught to 'do anything'. they were taught not to do anything. they were taught kids can't do anything except kid things. they were'nt left alone to do things. they were given nanny's and told not to play in the dirt. never explore, ect. maybe i'm wrong. i'mnot sure what was the widespread norm but in any case, it's the exploreing, and doing things for one self that exercised the mind. I didn't really get toys, so i had fun mixing up potions and exploreing nature. it helped me become a resourceful thinker. playing with he-man or tinkering withthe lawnmower,.. it was the lawnmover that was more fun and memorable. at 10 i built my own go cart. which is something i think today's generation doesn't conceive. a go cart must come in a plastic box. back in the day, they were built from scraps. the idea of gears and tork, these are real concepts that interrelate to other things. Today everything is pre-packaged. Not too many people in my generation can cook. dinner has to come in a box.
Yes, that was a big problem as well. In fact that's the subject of my first book, 7 Myths of Working Mothers. If you like, you can find out more about it at www.suzannevenker.com